Product Description: In this chaotic hell called life, people often seek out and subscribe to something "bigger" to live, thrive, and survive the terminal wild ride. Religion is the 800-pound gorilla, of course, but crutches can come in any number of philosophical or physical guises, e.g. drugs, alcohol, militant veganism, monster truck madness, skateboarding, the Grateful Dead, ren fair role play, or even conspiracy theories—the last of which I'd like to reference this quote from comedian Marc Maron on the topic: "There are a couple of choices, the pragmatic one being you take information, you sift through it, you assess what is real and what isn’t and you live with it, or you’re going to construct your own mystical scheme to provide you with comfort and also that weird feeling of somehow having secret answers." To better quote a quote within a quote, though, Ferris Bueller once said, "Isms, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, 'I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.' Good point there. After all, he was the Walrus." I, however, am not a walrus, so don't expect any goo goo g'joobs from me—especially since my absurd vector, Victor, lies somewhere deeper within the pages of the Principia Discordia. What, you expected Behold A Pale Horse?